How and Why to De-Clutter your mind.

Updated: Oct 26, 2019

True story. I finally got the kids into their rooms for naptime after keeping my mom cool all morning with two overly grumpy kids. One of those mornings where I had to personally commend myself to myself for how well I held it together. After all, I am not always as cool and even keel in the face of my children’s tantrums. They stayed up WAY too late after a goodbye party which was my bad, but still, it was a really rough morning. And lets face it, to be able to parent through a morning like that takes energy and will suck every last ounce of it out of you, every.last.precious.ounce.

After getting both kids down for their nap I sneak into a hot shower. Finally, a minute to myself! I literally think to myself “wow, I am so relaxed right now”. It’s been almost fifteen minutes, I’m solidly in the clear, they are down for sure. Not two seconds later the bathroom door opens, the shower curtain is pulled back and I hear “Mama? I broke it”.... Thanks universe.

Parent life is exhausting and frankly there are moments when it makes my skin crawl. No one can prepare you for how instantly different your life will be and how downright hard it will be, for prolonged periods, without sleep. I love my kids and would do it all again, but whew…it can be rough.

I have found that controlling my emotions and reactions is the most key element in being able to stay cool when all hell is breaking loose. My mood sets the mood of my home and I am hell bent on surrounding my kids with so much love and positivity even when it is hard (easier said than done!). The first few years of being a mom were rough for me and I made a conscious decision to do whatever it took to get myself to a place where I was able to be my best mom self. I have spent the last four years learning some real skills to help me de-stress and be a better mama to my kids and a better human in general.

Decluttering your mind is so important, and not only for parents. Stress can wreak havoc on your body if you do not keep it in check. Here are some of the most common effects of stress on your mind and body:

-Easily agitated, frustrated, and moody

-Being overwhelmed and feeling like things are out of control

-Low self-esteem and low energy


-Avoiding others


-Upset stomach (diarrhea, nausea and constipation)

-Chest pains and rapid heartbeat


-Lowered immune system leading to increased and frequent sickness

-Lowered sex drive


-Teeth grinding and clenching of the jaw.

-Poor Judgment Disorganization and forgetfulness.

It is so important for your long-term health to really manage your stress. So that’s all great, but how? Here are some tips to be able to de-stress and live your best life:

1. Make time for self-care and PRIORITZE it! Yes, key word is prioritize. You know the old saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. It is so key to have a plan and routine that you stick to with self-care. For me, I love exercising. I switched to a gym with a great childcare situation so that I can take my kids with me while I exercise. I am lost without my gym time and quickly begin morphing into a very unpleasant person without it.

2. Catch a spare minute where you can. Oddly (or maybe not oddly, I’m not sure) I find painting my nails so relaxing. Maybe that it requires my full attention so as to not mess it up, but it allows me to clear my mind (not to pretty!) and regroup for just a second. I do not plan this into my week, but rest assured I will sneak that time any moment I can!

3. Eat the food. It is so easy to let this key thing go, but it can be disastrous if you do. Your ability to have sound reactions and cope with stressors is compromised when your body does not have the energy. Meal planning and prepping is the way I have been able to keep up with this at my house.

4. Sleep! Fun fact, no one is nice when they don’t get enough sleep…. reference above.

5. Get Help! If you need help to process your stress, life transitions or past traumas please get help. There are so many great treatment approaches that can help you process the things you are experiencing to live a bigger, more fulfilling life. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) can be great to help your mind re-learn how to process thoughts and react to stressors.

6. Lastly, get the toxic people out of your life. We only get one life and it is so short. Do not let other people bring you down and create stress in your life. Prioritize you, I give you permission.

You CAN learn to de-clutter your mind. It takes time and a lot of practice, but relaxation and self care are too important to neglect. "Less work, more life"

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HARMONie is a Top Washington D.C. Organizer